Halloween Costumes for Broke Crypto Traders

Halloween is fast approaching, and if you’re like me you’ve put off coming up with a costume idea. Fear not!

CoinDesk has you covered with a list of crypto-themed outfits you can put together with stuff lying around your house.

The bear market has been a blessing, offering a convenient excuse for why you didn't purchase a costume for Oct. 31. If anyone asks what you're dressed as, just call yourself a crypto trader, pull out your empty wallet and pantomime how you lost it all. They’ll get it. Boy, will they get it.

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Below are a few costume concepts, ordered top to bottom from the ultra-lazy and cheap to the more involved. Take them and make them your own.

Blockchain Fork: Do you own a fork? Good, whenever your friends ask where they should head next, hold it high and say “I’m proposing a fork.”

The Merge: Steal a road sign and lug it around.

A White Paper: Cover yourself in a ream of looseleaf paper. (Although podcaster Laura Shin will always wear it best.)

Margin Call: A white T-shirt with “margin” written across it, and a prop phone.

Blockchain Evangelist: This is more performative. Dress up as a preacher and tell people about how crypto has arrived and the end is near for fiat.

A DAO: Wear a rope over your shoulders and carry a stack of poker chips. When someone asks what your costume is, say, "I'm a DAO, I have a token and dis cord."

See also: DAOs on Discord: Where to Go, What to Know

The Third Arrow: Buy one of those headbands that makes it look like an arrow is going through your head. For brownie points, ask strangers if they’ve seen your friends Su Zhu and Kyle Davies. “They were just here a moment ago.”

Caitlin Long-Dead: Dress up like beloved crypto doyen and Cowboy Stater, but as a zombie.

Blood Garlinghouse: If you are Ripple founder Brad Garlinghouse, just call yourself Blood. If you are anyone else, dress up as Brad Garlinghouse covered in blood.

Ferocious: Like the lovable NFT artist FEWOCiOUS, but act like you have rabies.

The Bear Market: A bear dressed as a janitor, to “clear out the junk.”

LUNA-Tic: Your standard-fare tic costume, with LUNA written on it. If it doesn’t land, say you’re werewolf Gregor Samsa.

Sexy Charles Hockinson: If you are a falconer (like Cardano’s self-effacing founder), bring around your bird of prey, but show a little skin.

“You’re Size Is Not Size”: Riffing on embarrassed Terra founder Do Kwon’s infamous taunt, wear clothing that is clearly a few sizes too small.

Not Trading Advice: Dress up like a venture capitalist going on safari. But preface and end every conversation you have with “This is not trading advice.”

Proof-of-Stake: Carry around a magnifying glass and print out a teeny tiny image of a steak diner. Ask people what they see. Eureka, it’s steak!

Log Scale: "Yes, the market has crashed. But if you zoom out, bitcoin is still the best-performing asset of the past decade." Carry around a bathroom scale and Lincoln logs.

Proof-of-Work: Print out your completed crypto startup OKRs to show everyone what you’ve accomplished this quarter.

Merkle Tree: Combine an Angela Merkel mask with a tree costume.

UST Breaking the Buck: A deer costume, shot dead – like the algorithmic stablecoin that dropped below $1.

CIA asset: For this one, you'll also need to dress up as Charles Hoskinson.

Inflation hedge: Dress up like a privet hedge with an LED screen that shows a .gif of rising prices. (Does the costume work? Not really. But neither did BTC as a hedge.)

Tungsten cube: A cardboard box lined with tungsten. For extra fun, ask your friends to pick you up – marvel when they realize how dense you’ve become.

See also: That Tungsten Company Is Auctioning Its Largest-Ever Cube